a freshly written poem in the raw

Just written a poem – it started in the kitchen with the central idea and the first line. No reason for it. have no idea if it is worth persisting with as it seems clumsy to me.

So, brave as this maybe or quizzically quiet, am inviting historic random comments or discussion as art – the merely here poems are text around which the site makes more sense.

My poem are also published on the original http://chaosandmatter.blogspot.com or for 2005 vintage and beyond see http://chaosmatters.blogspot.com

You do not (yet) have to join to comment but unless your comment is really interesting it may not appear. You can join, soon.

This is a living breathing poet developing his work to make it better. No need to be – but be charming and friendly feel free to randomly praise or rip into little pieces shreds if you need the bits that have to go but with good reasons. Less is generally better and saying half of it is better than a little too much..

they baked a cake and put your name on it

The sun bore down with racist chemistry
the wealth was taken from the rich and given to the animals to eat
the rain tore off their skin as it battered down upon their heads
it was so hard and thin needles and a knife
the blade so fast it breaks time in half
it parades and inflames like a masochist vein
or the hair on a horse hardened by winter

the dust sticks to the face of the man
who was to bring the news that things will yet improve
if we can persist and just do
not lose the nest to the weather
that takes no prisoners

But he can not complete his journey
and the children grow up believing
life is going to get worse but instead things improve
they ride to school in a hearse and peddle hot fluid
in place of lessons they get to wonder as they grow
left wanting to consume vast chunks of the world
to fill the gaping need with flesh too big to fit
into the ambulance that came to collect them
and take them home to rest underneath

they baked a cake and put your name on it

5 Replies to “a freshly written poem in the raw”

  1. My Last Duchess” by Robert Browning. The setting of the poem is the Duke and agent are wailkng around the Duke’s palace. They come and stop at a painting of the Duke’s late wife. The characters mainly include the Duke and agent, yet the new wife and late wife are also mentioned and could be seen as characters too. There are five major plot points from this piece. The first is that the Duke is taking to the agent about negotiating the wedding between him and his soon to be wife. The second is that the Duke and agent are wailkng around the palace and see the Duchess’ portrait and Duke begins to talk about it. The third is that her personality was not a good one. She was disgraceful in her behavior and unthankful for all that he had given her. The fourth is that the Duke had help cause his late wife’s death because he would give her commands and she would smile less and less, infering that she may have been going into a depression. Lastly, the fifth point is when the Duke goes back to discussing the point at hand-his new marriage. He and the agent continue on and the Duke points out another piece of artwork.

  2. I personally Believe that posting, “a freshly written poem in the raw |
    Chaos and Matter” was just right! I personallycould not agree with u more!

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    Thanks for the post, Akilah

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