I can not remember

I can not remember when I could remember

It was a long time ago since the clouds turned on me
blocked out the vision of things that were real
really reeling this time
across the surface of the
floor my pills surface
in jagged patterns

I can not remember the pills or the doctors
I can not remember the time on the table
under the blade spinning in space as the gas resides

subsides and undoes the future
ripping apart all concept of safety
the gowns worn by these priests
the lives of dictators lay
wasted on battlefields